..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
