oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
