Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
