That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
