I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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