I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
