So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I didn't notice because vodka
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
