doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Pappa wants mamma naked
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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