please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
