the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
