Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
