he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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