so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
