This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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