I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
