U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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