You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
