My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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