Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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