you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
