Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I supernannyed him into submission
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
