what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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