I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
