she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
