he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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