We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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