We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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