I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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