Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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