..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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