Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
