I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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