JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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