Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
