We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize