how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
