Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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