Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
