I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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