they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize