peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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