Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
