ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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