i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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