a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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