if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
