You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
