i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
