i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
