I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
