The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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