the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
