Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
