just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
