Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
