We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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