Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
