Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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