just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
