MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
