I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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