is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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