He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You're a waste of cheezeits
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
