You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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